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[ As they sit down, Pyra looks to his hand in hers, conflicted, guilted, forlorn. His hand feels warm in hers, but she knows from Noctis that that won't be the case forever: his kingdom will fall and him with it. Their time together is precious, and there will be a time where a moment of holding hands as father and son will be their last.

It could have been their last moment, just a day ago, because of her... ] The Omega Fetter... An object from my world-- [ No. That's not the whole truth. ] a possession of mine appeared here, only it was corrupted.

[ How it was corrupted, she doesn't know. ] We tried going to Rawna's temple to fix it, but it didn't work.

[ She inhales. ] It was dangerous, too dangerous to allow to be left in the open. We decided to place it in his armory. [ Not that either of them had known that it would hurt him. She had even asked if it were possible, to which he said it wouldn't. Having him take it into his armory was the best choice they could think of at the time, one what would keep the Fetter safe from the world and from others finding it, too. ]

The effects were almost immediate. He collapsed, and--- his weapons... [ Briefly, her hand upon his grows tighter. ] It was as if they had come alive on their own to defend him when he could not; they even... [ Pointed towards her, she's about to say, but can't. It's as if the primal instinct within his magic knew she was dangerous or the cause. It was an accident, all of it, yes, but the thought is difficult to shake. ] They were erratic. That's when that blast came from him, when I attempted to help him. It pushed me away.

[ She closes her eyes. ]

I... took him to find you, but we found Ardyn instead. Meanwhile, I dove into his soul to find and fix the Fetter. [ Her other hand moves up to her chest, a loose, uncertain fist curling over the crystal set upon it. Her voice trembles. ] It was as if it was torturing him from the inside this entire time. [ How Noctis managed to survive that long, even without Ardyn's help, is a miracle. Or maybe not so much, given how strong he is. ]

We fixed it, but not before... [ Her eyes raise to meet Regis, misty and sorrowful, ashamed and apologetic, reflective of her failure to do no harm to him and her promise to protect. ] He absorbed a tremendous lash of energy out from the Fetter, like he was directing it to himself-- and...

[ Pyra's eyes shut again, but it's to no avail: she cannot unsee how it seemed his soul shattered in her arms. ] He almost died. I thought he did.

[ In the moment after, she had felt both numbed and overwhelmed. She's no stranger to loss or death, yet another failure on her part to protect isn't just another, it's a great loss each and every time. Had she done enough for him as he lived, had she told him she loved him enough as he lived, had she hugged him enough, had she cooked for him enough, had she given him reasons to smile enough, had she kept her distance to allow him more time with his family, had she supported him enough as he struggled with his duties and own inner turmoil-- every reflective question had been met with an internal "no" all the while the silence of his loss was ringing the loudest within her mind.

Now alone with Regis, Pyra remains at a loss. There, she thinks. There, now Regis knows so much of her. Perhaps he might have questions: why would she even own such a device, how did she jump into his soul, and most importantly, why, why did she almost kill his only son?

Architect, she could have taken so much from them... It doesn't feel right to hold his hand, to sit beside him and know the graciousness of a king.

She concludes weakly, ] I'm so sorry...

[For a long moment, the only response that comes to her story is the slight tightening of Regis' hand on hers. It is an unconscious reaction to the terror that hits Regis all over again when he realizes just how close he came to losing Noctis. On top of that, they had been looking for him for assistance, and he hadn't been there. He had not been far away--just at Valeo--but she had no way of knowing that. Noctis would have known to check there, but he was in no condition to let anyone know that. Thank the Astrals, Ardyn had been home.

Of course, Regis realizes as his emotions begin to calm again that he is not certain he would have been much help in the heat of the moment. It is not as if he would have been able to reach into his son's Armiger. He could have explained to Pyra what was going on, helped her with the automatic defenses, and perhaps done the same as he just did--give Noctis extra magical energy to work with--but only Ardyn could have pulled away the hostile energy quickly enough to allow Pyra and Noctis to deal with the actual source of the issue. No potion, no matter how strong, could have kept up with that. A Phoenix Down may have returned Noctis from the dead, but Regis knows he has not been able to create one here yet and he is pretty sure Noctis has not either. Plus they have no idea if it would have worked correctly or not.

A sick feeling fills his stomach for a moment as it dawns on him that no matter how much of a chance this place has given him to be there for Noctis when he won't be able to be there back home, it seems like Fate still is keeping him away.

Regis tries not to hate much--hate is not a good emotion for a successful king to have--but this? This he hates.

Knowing the silence is starting to drag on, Regis takes a deep breath and shifts his focus from his own emotions to Pyra's. He understands now why she has seemed like a skittish cat ever since he arrived. There is a lot to unpack in what she has said, but questions can wait just a few more moments.]

Our family was given the power we wield to protect. We protect the Crystal. We protect our people. We protect our country. We protect our world. You cherish protecting as well. What you and Noctis tried to do were one and the same. He tried to protect others from the dangers of that Fetter and you tried to protect him. We do these things without thought of ourselves. Protecting is a part of us, no matter the outcome.

[He pauses a moment, shifting on the couch so he is facing her a little more.]

May I give you a hug?

[ "Protecting is a part of us, no matter the outcome."

It certainly is, and she's come to know this of their family from when she had first met them a year ago. Somnus, Ardyn, Regis... Noctis. Sometimes-- and this time especially, with Noctis nearly dying-- it is unfathomable how much they protect others (albeit in different ways). But one thing is for certain: for the sake of those they love and the world, they would lay down their lives.

She's just the same, but still. It's much. Too much. She sees Noctis' phantom-like form in her mind, she recalls holding him as he shatters, and she--

As soon as he asks, her arms are around him shaking, her breath unsteady and tremulous. Pain she describes as knives. Sorrow and guilt feel like burns: the last and endure, even with the smallest mark. ] Sometimes....

I think... You should think a little more about yourselves. [ Please, she wants to say. Please think more of yourselves. Please do not take so much onto yourselves, please let her bear their burden, too. Please, blame her for causing this. His son, his only son, could have died, and he still offers her an embrace.

This, too is unfathomable... but it is far, far more humbling to be the recipient of his graciousness. This, she thinks, is why he is a king. ]

[When Pyra accepts the hug, Regis tightens his arms slightly, letting one hand rub against her back in a comforting manner. Considering her reaction, he can tell she blames herself and perhaps needs to have someone else blame her in some odd way. He just can't do that, though. Not when he knows how hard she is already being on herself. How can he add to that?

A small, sad smile crosses Regis' face when she finally speaks.]

You are not the first to say that and I doubt you will be the last. It is rather remarkable how long our line has lasted considering how often we seem to be born lacking even basic self-preservation instincts.

[Life, perhaps, would be easier if they cared more for themselves than others, but at the same time, they would be completely different people then and Noctis...Noctis would not be the Chosen that Eos needs to save her.]

I know you blame yourself for this, but I want you to know this changes nothing. You are still our family and I am just as relieved to know you are okay as I am to know Noctis will be. Please don't let this accident drive a wedge between the two of you.

[ She falls back onto the push-back of her own thoughts, that this shouldn't have been an accident in the first place. The Fetter should have been destroyed in her homeward before it was brought here. She should have known better than to have hope that the Fetter wouldn't fall into the wrong hands...

But his arms around her, still, and his words assuage her until it's only her shoulders that slightly tremble within the embrace. She's still family, he says, and he's relieved to know that the both of them are safe.

She stays within the embrace, returning it quietly. Truthfully, she had been worried that this would push him away from her as well, or worse, that he would fear her. It seems that that is not the case, even with all of the explanation that she's given. ] Th-thank you. [ --"for your kindness." It's immeasurable. And while it puts some pressure on her to never let this happen again, even though terrible things continue to plague Noctis, harming him seemingly every feel weeks, she feels some relief that she's not outright rejected.

She wants to do more for them. For Noctis, in particular, yes, but for Regis, for Ardyn, for... everyone in their family. She's sorry they suffer, so. She wishes she could make their lives easier, better, and without harm... ]

It... also runs in your family, how compassionate and understanding you are.

You are welcome. In my opinion, the world can always do with more compassion and understanding.

[If only all woes could be solved by such things. Perhaps then their family--and Noctis in particular--would not be haunted by so many painful occurrences. Lingering in "what ifs" changes nothing, though, so it is better not to do so.]

There are times when it seems Fate reaches out and targets certain people. Instead of blaming ourselves for what we may have prevented, I find it better to focus on supporting that person in their time of need.

[He chuckles softly then.]

It's not easy. Believe me, I know. I think we are all the kind of people who take blame on far too easily. The problem is, blame expends energy that is better used elsewhere. You are comforted more by a hug than by sitting in a chair and blaming yourself, are you not?

[ She pauses then, listening to his words and basking in his comfort, when she realizes that, perhaps, she's taking too much of his support. Of course Pyra would not be satisfied with moping or doing nothing-- which is why she plans to do all that she can for Noctis while he recovers. ] I suppose... we all do the same, don't we? Try to help others. Hugging them, mm...

[ She looks up at him, allowing herself a small smile as if to reassure him. She is comforted, and with that comfort comes the hope that she's not too bothersome. ]

So... Let me give you one too, okay?

[ She's not so blind to believe that it's easy for him, seeing his grown son like this. ]

[Regis studies that small smile as if he is trying to figure out if it is hiding something. Noctis has come to know her well enough he would know, but as his son is not here at the moment, Regis will just have to believe it is not.

Besides, she sounds earnest enough and if he wants to come to know her better, then he has to trust what he is being shown is the truth.

At first, Regis almost automatically declines her offer as he doesn't want to be a burden either, but she has let herself be vulnerable in front of him. It is only right he does the same.

His expression softens a little, tiredness he had been hiding before becoming visible.]

I would like that very much.

[ And so, her arms will find their way around him again, pulling him into an embrace. Pyra is a unnaturally warm individual, and she can only hope that that unnatural aspect of hers lends to how comforting she hopes this hug to be-- like being cradled in blankets and held, secure and safe and sound.

The tiredness she catches in his expression confirms her suspicious, and she's grateful that he allows himself this one moment to take a hug in return.

How does he do it, she wonders, shoulder so much and yet find time to comfort both his son and her before he allows the same for himself? Her arms are not as long or strong as his in return, but these thoughts make her embrace tighten just for a few seconds before relaxing.

...Perhaps, she thinks, the answer is obvious. It's love, and he's a father.

Quietly, ]

You're a wonderful father, Regis.

[ It does give her a little more hope, too, that at least between the two of them, Noctis will recover quicker than if he'd had been left alone. ]

[Regis is also usually a warm person. Cor had called him a 'personal space heater' more than once, but after expending so much energy to help stabilize Noctis, he is feeling colder than usual. Pyra's warmth then, is even more comforting than it might have been otherwise. He lets out a small sigh, relaxing for the first time since he was contacted about all of this. When he looks back on it now, what has only been a few hours feels more like a few days. It's a feeling he should be used to considering how many times he's had to deal with a crisis out of nowhere, but perhaps there are just some things a person cannot get used to.

When she finally speaks, he can't help but let a small smile cross his face.]

I'm not certain I would say wonderful, but I am doing my best. Perhaps that is even better than being wonderful.

[Noctis has a hard enough time believing he is the son his father deserves. Regis wouldn't want himself to be any closer to perfection than he is. Flaws make a person human. Understandable. And he and Noctis need all the help understanding each other as they can get.]

[ She keeps him in the brace for a few meaningful moments more, hoping that if nothing else, the hug will stand for all of her gratefulness and appreciation and her own want to help him, too.

"Perhaps that is even better than being wonderful."

She pulls away, but only just enough to take one of his hands in both of hers, sandwiching his between. Her smile is quiet and fond. ]

I'm not sure how much better you could be at being wonderful already... But if there's anyone who could, it would be you.

[ Kindness, immeasurable; understanding, ten-fold, and patience, infinite. He's amazing. ] ...He's lucky to have you as a father.

[It's hard to deny what she says considering how sincere and earnest she is. How had he questioned her intention before? It feels like she is an open book right now, so obvious her feelings are.

Once more Regis can't help but think of how luck Noctis is to have her, even if there have been some misadventures along the way. Astrals know, he and Aulea had their share of those as well.]

I know that Noctis doesn't believe it, but he is more than I could have ever hoped for in a son. I am so blessed to have him. I just wish that being my son didn't carry so much burden with it. I know he carries it willingly; it is part of why I am so proud of him, but it is still a hard road he has to walk.

[ There he goes again, blaming himself for Noctis' burden, or perhaps his inability to not make things easier for him, and not for lack of trying. Their fates are out of both of their hands, and from what she knows of it... ]

You... and him. You've done your best and gave-- and continue to give here-- the best with the tools, the means you have. [ She speaks this slowly, as if still gathering her thoughts of what she knows, what she assumes to be true, and a bit of her own projection, of what she believes or imagines a family to be like. What she's learned from Regis, too, she takes into account. The intentions behind all of his actions are with love and care.

(She doesn't wish to make Noctis' path any harder or injurious than it already is.) ] When... a parent and a child love each other-- no matter the circumstances of birth, at the end of the day, I'm sure that-- you can say 'thank you', can't you, to him for being your son? And him to you, for being his father.

[ She, too, tries to be grateful and show that gratefulness every day she's with him. A thank you to Noctis, for being able to know him, and...

A pause, here. It can't just be Noctis to whom she shows this appreciation. Regis, now, she can call a father, adoptive or otherwise, and both his embrace and his parental patience with this shows that he's all the more deserving of it, too. ] It's not the same, but I want to thank you, too, to you. [ Her smile is small. ] For being his father and raising him, and for being kind and wonderful just all on your own. For being a father to many.

[ Her eyes slide shut, and she whispers again, ] Thank you.

Edited 2021-03-10 22:55 (UTC)

[Regis is unsure if their fates are out of their hands or not. With so many generations leading toward one thing, can one person at any one time really change so much? Even if he could would it be for better or worse? Would he just end up feeling as if he has placed more of burden on the shoulders of the one he never wanted any to rest on?]

I always say as long as one has done their best, they should not blame themselves for what comes after, but...it is so much harder to apply the same to myself.

[More than once Regis has found himself looking at things in a different way after listening to Pyra talk and this time is no different. With how much complicates their lives, she brings it back to simplicity, the core important fact of the matter. His expression softens into something grateful and honored all at once as she closes her eyes and gives him her own thanks.

Regis isn't used to being overwhelmed by this kind of emotion, but he cannot deny how good it makes him feel. When people ask him how he can be so kind and helpful when so much has been done to him, the answer is it's moments like this that make it all worthwhile.

Once she falls silent, he can't help but lean forward to place a gentle kiss to the top of her head.]

You are welcome; to you I also say thank you. We are both so lucky to have you as part of our family.

[ He is right to point out that it is easier to say than to do, to preach rather than to practice, especially in regards to oneself. He isn't the only one who struggles with allowing some patience for himself, or being kind to himself, but like-son-like-father.

She allows herself a small smile when he places a kiss upon her forehead.

Supporting each other through grief and stress, loving each other, lifting each other up-- that is what family is, too. He says he's the one that's grateful, and she cannot help but feel the same, even more than one moment ago when she had just thanked him...

She remains in the embrace for a few moments more, and then she pulls away just enough to look up at him. They can continue this-- a back and forth of thanks yous and gratefulness, but they can also take a moment to rest themselves. He must be tired, and what better way to pass some time than over a cup of floral tea? ]

...How about some tea? [ A pause, then she adds: ] Father.

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