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[His sleep has been fitful at best since their arrival here. The first couple of days with the surgery and Strange's help he'd been unconscious more than he'd been awake but now he was falling into the same old patterns. He wakes and sometimes spends hours fiddling around on his phone.

Tonight, though, when he gasps himself into wakefulness it's with a soft, strained whisper echoing in his ears, the smell of blood and ozone on the air.

"Go."

He turns his gaze to the form in the bed across the room, squinting in the moonlight but he cannot see from here, can't tell if Regis' chest is still rising, the shadows falling in such a way that his mind insists for a moment there's a stain spreading out from his king's chest.

Whatever restrictions Izunia and Strange have insisted on he ignores them completely, stumbling out of his bed, staggering on his bad leg and the blankets that tangle themselves around him. He doesn't stop or take the time to disentangle himself though, he just shoves past it, ignoring the sharp surge of pain through his leg as he yanks himself free. As gentle as he wants to be, to not wake his King, he all but falls onto the edge of the bed, leaning heavily beside him.

The hand he lifts to settle on Regis' chest is trembling and there's something sharp and panicked in his breathing, eyes too wide. But the older man is warm beneath his hand, his chest rising and falling evenly, nothing wet to be found, no blood either cold or hot. And yet there's still something in his mind screaming that something's wrong and he forces one word out, strained and desperate. Because he needs Regis to look at him, to see him and know that his King has not left him again.]

Regis!?

[Logically, Regis had known that it would only be a matter of time until this happened. The real question was how long it would take and who the nightmares would find first. The countdown had begun more quickly than he imagined it would, though, with both he and Nyx gravitating back toward their usual sleep patterns in only a couple of days.

For Regis, despite the chronic exhaustion that plagued the line, he usually survived on only a couple of hours of sleep a night, if that. Just being a king meant many sleepless nights, but being king of a country at war increased that number exponentially, so it really didn't surprise him when he started staying up later and later, especially on nights when his body reminded him very loudly that he had forgotten to take the pain medication that Strange had given him. He suspected, though he hadn't said anything about it yet, that Nyx was being even less mindful of his medication than his king was.

They were setting themselves up for it really.

Used to needing to wake up at the slightest prodding, Regis is already stirring by the time Nyx manages to get his name passed his lips. The desperation in his Glaive's voice brings him the rest of the way awake in less than an eye blink, gaze finding and locking onto Nyx's too wide, panicked eyes. At the same time, he brings his injured and still bandaged hand to rest over the one on his chest, folding his thumb--the only finger that answers his command anymore--around it to hold it in place.]

I'm here.

[As soft as his voice is, it's also firm and unwavering.]

We're safe. Breathe. Listen. Feel.

[Steady your breath. Let his voice guide you back. Feel the steady beat of his heart. It's okay; he' s okay.]

[For a fleeting moment in the darkness he almost doesn't trust his eyes. But Regis' voice is smooth and steady and Nyx's breath rushes out of him. He slumps a little, tension bleeding out of him, nodding distantly, hardly aware of what he's doing.

Reassurances are nice but the gentle commands do so much more for his anxieties. He does breathe, unconsciously matching the rise of his own chest to that of the one under his hand, slow and steady and falling into sync with his King all too easily. He can hear the distant rush of the ocean, the soft chattering of Verity sneaking through the hallway outside. More importantly Regis is here and mostly whole, speaking in a soothing tone and Nyx wants to fall into his words, wrap himself up in the other man's reassurances and block out the rest of the world.

Feel. The warmth of Regis' body, the way he breathes, the soft cotton of the sheets, even softer flannel of his King's pajamas. The light scratch of gauze and tape, the pressure of Regis' thumb against his palm. Slowly he shifts his weight, easing himself down onto the edge of the bed beside the older man, fingers curling into Regis' shirt and wrapping around his thumb.]

I thought I lost you...

[Soft and scared. He's just going to curl up against Regis' side for a moment, wrapping himself around his King to reassure himself he's really there.]

Not this time.

[It's not the most comforting of answers, but it's also absolutely the truth, something the nightmare can't challenge no matter how much it twists the events of that day. Neither of them want to think about the fact that Nyx did lose him once--especially now that Regis has seen how it will happen--but ignoring it also gives the nightmare more power. It is better then, to acknowledge it and then focus on the present where they both live and can lean upon each other for strength while they recover.

Regis slides over in bed to allow Nyx more room to curl against him without straining his still recovering body. Once Nyx is settled, Regis moves his free arm so he can run his fingers through dark, sweat-dampened hair.

He doesn't know if talking about it will help Nyx or not, but he's not going to push the issue. Instead, he's content to remain as they are, listening as his Glaive's heart rate slowly calms.

And if he falls asleep instead of talking? Well, that's all right too.]

[Having Regis shift over to give him room only makes Nyx more comfortable, scooting in close and wrapping himself around the other man as best he can. Listening to the beat of his heart, focusing on all the little reassurances. Then fingers slide into his hair and he breathes out a long sigh, settling in deeper.

They should talk, they both know it, but thinking about it instead off the warmth of his King beside him will only make it more certain that it will be yet another sleepless night. So he stays quiet, listens to Regis' breathing, and couldn't really say when he falls asleep exactly.

When he wakes, however, it's too early, the sky still a dusky grey before the sun is fully up. It's not sudden as before but it's not slow and easy either. It's slow until he realizes how deep the ache in his bones is, the way his knee is screaming at him, even his hips protesting loudly. The weight of the cast, without the support of the wedge he's meant to sleep with it on, enough to pull his hips and lower back so far out of alignment that for a moment he doesn't think he can move without waking Regis.

It all hurts too much for a moment. So he stays carefully still, breathes deep until he can swallow down the pain and at least try to sit up. Hopefully he can do so without disturbing Regis, he's already interrupted enough of his sleep.]

[Everything else aside, honestly waking Regis was going to happen no matter what Nyx did. With how few hours of sleep he got by on most nights, he wasn't surprised in the slightest that he never fully drifted back to sleep after being woke up. Instead, he just dozed lightly, body waiting for the next busy day to start, ears listening to his Glaive's even breathing, mind happy at least one of them was resting easier.

Not wanting to startle Nyx, he waits until his Glaive manages to pull himself very stiffly and slowly into a sitting position and then he moves his hand to rest it gently against the man's back to steady him.]

You're hurting. There is no need to get up. Just tell me where you have your medication and I'll get it for you.

[His breath catches slightly at the gentle pressure of Regis' hand on his back. He wants to offer reassurances and tell him to go back to sleep but as soon as he begins speaking Nyx leans back into the contact slightly. Not quite able to resist.]

's fine. Just need a few to loosen up.

[He's going to be okay, really he is. He just needs his back to remember how to function. If Regis moves his hand down, though, he will be able to feel just how tight and angry everything in his lower back is right now.]

[Regis hums softly, the sound neither agreement or disagreement. At the same time, his fingers move gently across tense muscles, the action almost massaging except there is nowhere near enough pressure for it to be that.]

The muscles in my knee lock up like this sometimes. It makes it agonizing to straighten or bend my leg, and it's not something that will just 'loosen up' on its own.

[The tone of his voice makes it clear that Nyx isn't fooling him in the slightest. He draws his hand back and the question that comes next really shouldn't be surprising since it was never answered before.]

Where is your medication?

[It may not be a massage but it's certainly enough to ease some of the strain and tension in how he holds himself. He makes a small, unhappy sound when Regis explains that he is familiar with this pain thanks to his knee but he still makes no move to get up or reposition himself.

The question is not surprising but it is frustrating.]

I can get it. Go back to sleep.

[Still carefully not answering that question. Nothing suspicious there, right?]

Nyx Ulric, I did not ask if you could; I asked where.

[And, if it wasn't clear before, the fact that he's pulling himself out of the bed makes it obvious he has no plans of going back to sleep. Regis takes a moment to be silently grateful his knee cooperating--for the moment--and then sends an ultimatum in his Glaive's direction.]

You can tell me or I can search the room. The choice is yours.

[He scowls faintly in the other man's direction and he stays resolutely silent until Regis actually gets up. Then Nyx sighs, almost snarls really.]

Don't-

[But he's up and he's threatening and Nyx turns his gaze to the floor and grinds the next words out through clenched teeth.]

I don't want it, alright.

You would rather be in pain and risk not healing correctly than to take what was prescribed to you?

[The question starts off angry, but that anger fades about halfway through as Regis realizes there is likely more to this than his Glaive being stubborn. With a sigh, he settles back onto the bed.]

Is it addiction or having your mind muddled that you fear?

[There is no accusation in the question. It is merely that, a question. Nyx's friends and family, for the most part, are his fellow Glaives. It is just as likely he's seen the results of both things as experienced them himself.]

Yes!

[He snaps it out before Regis has even really finished the question, finally looking over his shoulder at the other man, teeth bared in a snarl that's as much frustration as it is pain from twisting around like that.

And then understanding dawns and Regis is so... neutral about the whole thing when it would be easier to fight and be up in arms about it if he weren't so godsdamned reasonable. Instead he turns back away, shoulders slumping, head bowed. That's not fair. He doesn't want to fight with his King, that's the last thing he wants but he also doesn't know how to just talk about this particular topic.

So he has to turn it to something he can talk about. Someone else.]

Libertus never would've fallen in with those bastards if he'd had his head on straight.

[The intensity behind that response is a little startling, but Regis is hardly surprised by the answer. He's also not surprised that Nyx doesn't want to talk about it--that much is obvious from his silence and then his deflection--but it's the not talking about it that gets so many people into trouble. Mental or physical, pain does things to people's minds and the more the person keeps quiet about it, the worst it gets.

Once Nyx turns away and his posture slumps, Regis moves closer, letting his hand once more settle onto his Glaive's back, lightly massaging tense muscles. Before he speaks, he nods in acknowledgment of the statement made about Libertus.]

For me, it was the second. I could never understand how they expected me to make the right choices for my people and my country while my mind was muddled by painkillers. It's not as if I could take days off and wait it out. The pain was too constant. I hardly would have been ruling if I had.

Don't much care for the idea of being that laid up, either.

[He can admit that much at least with Regis there, confessing his own fears.]

Couple of beers is one thing but...

[Painkillers can fuck with your head so much more than alcohol. Especially now, here, with no one else to stand beside his King. With the memory of him falling dead before them so vivid in his mind. How can he let himself fall into that.]

[For a moment, the only response Nyx gets is another nod of acknowledgment, Regis' hand continuing its gentle massage of his back in the silence, then a sad smile crosses his face.]

It's like being trapped between a rock and a hard place. Clarus would tell me that being tired from lack of sleep and distracted by pain were a combination even more dangerous than the slight haze of the painkillers would be. I never did want to believe him. Pain and I were very familiar companions even then, so I just ignored it and continued on as I always did.

[Regis lets his hand drop from Nyx's back so he can lean across the bed and catch his Glaive's gaze.]

Incidentally, ignoring him is the reason my knee went from merely bad to totally wrecked. It took a fall that almost put me through a glass table in my suite to realize I should have listened and by then the damage was already done.

I get the point you're making here, sir...

[He does, and logically he knows it's what's likely to happen to him as well, especially if he keeps pushing like this.]

But I don't- [A scowl, gaze flicking away again.]

I dunno if I trust myself.

[Regis is silent in the wake of that confession, not because he is surprised by it, but because there is no easy solution to that kind of fear. Lack of trust in oneself is very dangerous to people who have been through the kinds of trauma that he and Nyx have. It's all too easy to allow doubt to become a self-fulfilling prophecy when one's mental defenses are so low.

Eventually, he pulls himself back to his feet and makes his way around to the other side of the bed so he can sit next to Nyx instead of at his back. Regis then reaches out to run his thumb across his Glaive's cheek.]

Can you trust me?

[The last thing he's expecting is that gentle touch to his face. He blinks up at Regis, lost for a moment, a flicker of something scared and uncertain in his gaze. But the question earns not even the slightest hesitation.]

Of course.

[His hand comes up to touch Regis' wrist, gentle but needing the contact to anchor himself.]

Always.

[Regis nods, letting his hand remain where it is, to be an anchor--a link--between them both. Hopefully, what he is about to suggest will help put some of Nyx's worries to rest.]

I have not been remembering to take my medication as much as I should for various reasons.

[Sometimes he just plain forgets, others times he lets his fear of not being clearheaded have more power over him than it should, especially since he no longer needs to worry about running a country.]

If you will allow it, I will take over keeping track of when dosages are due for both of us.

[He's always done better remembering to take care of himself when it directly impacts someone else anyway.]

[A soft huff of laughter escapes him but it's not as self-deprecating as it could be, more sheepish than anything. He tilts his head a little, cocks a brow.]

Are you offering to dad me into taking my meds?

[That might get a little awkward later, Reggie.]

[Regis huffs softly. Perish the thought.]

Hardly, however since you do trust me for some strange reason, letting me take care of this small thing seems like a wise course of action. It's the least I can do after all that you've done for me.

Some strange reason.

[That gets an eye roll. Honestly, Regis. What do you expect from him?]

As long as it means you're taking yours too... I guess it makes sense.

Some of us work better when we have a routine to follow.

[Regis shrugs, giving Nyx a knowing look.]

I realize you are not one of those, but I am. Helping you will help me as well.

Phanrift Mailbox/Inbox

Some night in week one

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