There is nothing fair or easy about being a hero. This you know too well. [If he called her so she could hear a comforting voice right now, would she pick up? Oh, but he doesn't want to wake Ardbert. She would feel even worse if he saw her like this, and he has to be torn up about everything already.]
Right now, you are tired and it is easy to see the pain you have caused because there is no denying the fact that you are correct. To save lives, you must take lives. It is the fate of any who take to the field of battle; it is the question they all must answer. What is the point of doing good if you are doing evil in equal measure? [Giving credence to her words isn't really enough though. She is in pain. Even if her words are true in many ways, confirming them doesn't help ease that pain.]
Put that question to the side for just a moment, my dear daughter. Can you do something for me? Take a deep breath. Remember when we were at the dance the natives threw for the anniversary of the first arrivals? Remember how it felt when I wrapped my arms around you? Focus your mind on that feeling. Block out everything else. Remember the awkward beginning and the comforting end. Remember your tail swishing around, a little tattletale of your moods. Ground yourself on the smell of flowers, the sound of music, the feel of the small breeze that stirs the air as people come and go. Bury yourself in the sensation of that moment. Tell me what you remember of it. Do not let your current feelings cloud it. Be honest to the memory.
[ He asks her to remember but she can't. She can't remember and it frightens her so horribly. What else has she forgotten? Were her 'new' memories pushing out the 'old'? Would she wake up remembering even less?
The thought causes her such panic that she can scarcely breathe. Not daring to risk waking Ardbert up, she remains silent as she gathers up the duvet in shaky arms and drags it with her to the closet. Her Carbuncle follows, lighting up the otherwise dark space just enough to be comforting. She swaddles herself in the duvet along with her summoned companion, focusing on its familiar warmth until she stops feeling like she's dying.
By the time she's calmed down she's so thoroughly exhausted that she falls asleep before she has the chance to do anything else.
Despite her earlier concerns, she is kept company by pleasant dreams until she wakes.
It's a good many hours later before Regis receives a response: ]
Good morning.
Apologies for last night. I could not do as you asked and it frightened me, but your words followed me to sleep and brought me pleasant dreams.
Thank you.
Edited (forgot an important word) 2020-10-15 21:34 (UTC)
[Getting her message in the morning is a great relief. Regis had almost called her when no reply came, but what he had asked her to do, he had hoped would help her calm down and get her to sleep. If that was what happened, he would never have forgiven himself for waking her up again.
So he waited and hoped sleep came faster for her than it did for him.]
I am sorry for frightening you, my dear. I merely hoped that remembering a happy moment from the past in great detail would help pull you out of your mind enough to rest. I guess in some way it worked, though not quite as I intended.
no subject
[If he called her so she could hear a comforting voice right now, would she pick up? Oh, but he doesn't want to wake Ardbert. She would feel even worse if he saw her like this, and he has to be torn up about everything already.]
Right now, you are tired and it is easy to see the pain you have caused because there is no denying the fact that you are correct. To save lives, you must take lives. It is the fate of any who take to the field of battle; it is the question they all must answer. What is the point of doing good if you are doing evil in equal measure?
[Giving credence to her words isn't really enough though. She is in pain. Even if her words are true in many ways, confirming them doesn't help ease that pain.]
Put that question to the side for just a moment, my dear daughter. Can you do something for me? Take a deep breath. Remember when we were at the dance the natives threw for the anniversary of the first arrivals? Remember how it felt when I wrapped my arms around you? Focus your mind on that feeling. Block out everything else. Remember the awkward beginning and the comforting end. Remember your tail swishing around, a little tattletale of your moods. Ground yourself on the smell of flowers, the sound of music, the feel of the small breeze that stirs the air as people come and go. Bury yourself in the sensation of that moment. Tell me what you remember of it. Do not let your current feelings cloud it. Be honest to the memory.
no subject
The thought causes her such panic that she can scarcely breathe. Not daring to risk waking Ardbert up, she remains silent as she gathers up the duvet in shaky arms and drags it with her to the closet. Her Carbuncle follows, lighting up the otherwise dark space just enough to be comforting. She swaddles herself in the duvet along with her summoned companion, focusing on its familiar warmth until she stops feeling like she's dying.
By the time she's calmed down she's so thoroughly exhausted that she falls asleep before she has the chance to do anything else.
Despite her earlier concerns, she is kept company by pleasant dreams until she wakes.
It's a good many hours later before Regis receives a response: ]
Good morning.
Apologies for last night. I could not do as you asked and it frightened me, but your words followed me to sleep and brought me pleasant dreams.
Thank you.
no subject
So he waited and hoped sleep came faster for her than it did for him.]
I am sorry for frightening you, my dear. I merely hoped that remembering a happy moment from the past in great detail would help pull you out of your mind enough to rest. I guess in some way it worked, though not quite as I intended.
How are you feeling this morning?