[He can almost breathe, almost. His heart aches so deeply, a sharp twisting pain like broken glass in his chest. But it is a wound that has ached for years, torn open again and again. After Regis fell, when that connection between them shattered, he'd thought the scars had finally grown deep enough that his heart was numb to the pain.

He'd tried so hard to overcome this.

Then this godforsaken city happened and all the old wounds began bleeding again. He wasn't prepared for this, how could he be? More than that he did not have the same fortitude he had in his youth. There was no way his walls could withstand the sheer vibrance of his King so young and full of hope and love and dreams again. The man that had swept him off his feet without even knowing it and here he was meant to pretend it didn't still affect him.

Just when he thought there was at least a chance that he will be able to pull himself together Regis leans into him, wraps arms around him and he has to suck in a breath once more, holding it tight in his chest before it bursts out of him and shatters all the work he's done. At least the mention of Her Majesty is easier to address than the tangled mess that is his own heart.]

I would never- have never- even thought of betraying Her Majesty like that.

[Not even when the betrayal would be of her memory. No matter how much his heart yearned he would never dream of asking such a thing.]

There's nothing to forgive. I- [It's difficult for him to find the words, to make room for logic when so much of him aches so deeply. His voice is raw and breathless, but he is able to stop himself from succumbing to that pain at least.]

I never meant to tell you.