But that is the wrong question, isn't it? The wrong question given credence by teachings they have both followed most of their lives, lessons impressed upon them when they were too young to know the damage those lessons were doing to them; one a child whose father expected royal behavior in everything from one too young to know what that was, and the other a child willing to do anything if it proved to the world he deserved a place in it.
The Crown and their tools? They have no need for love. There is no place for such distraction.
But what of Cor and Regis? What of the man whose heart overflows with loyalty and the need to protect? What of the man whose father warned him his very capacity to love would be the death of him if he didn't stomp it out?
It is true the moment that Cor finally loses the battle with his emotions, Regis' heart stops. It is true the moment his friend's lips crash against his that he is frozen and unable to react, but this is Cor and there is only one other person besides his wife that he trusts as completely as he does this young man, now grown, who was so willing to step into his space and tell him he was wrong.
There is pain in this, but the pain comes in the knowledge of just how long Cor had held all of this inside, of how much it has taken for him to get here and of how quickly he draws away because if he lingers longer, the dream will become a nightmare.
The instant Cor begins to pull away, Regis curses himself for not wrapping his arms around his friend and holding him close, holding close that moment of freedom bought at such a high cost. giving him a better memory to look back on when there is nothing else to keep him going.
Because, for as much as Regis wants to deny it, Cor is right.
Regis takes a deep breath and then pulls himself across the bed so he can settle with his side against Cor, his head coming to rest between his shoulders.]
I won't lie to you and say differently, though I suspect the actual reasons we cannot are much different than you believe them to be.
[He reaches around Cor then, seeking his hands to hold, giving him the embrace he should have before.]
I do not deserve this. It interferes with my duty. What right do I...
[The last statement remains unfinished because Regis can't bring himself to finish it. The fact his friend still holds these low opinions of himself after so long makes him angry, mostly at himself for not doing better by him.]
None of that is true. There is only one reason we can't and it is because Aulea is not here. Were she here so we could discuss it, things would be different, but I cannot and will not betray her trust nor will I presume to know her opinion on such a matter even if she did call me a fool for not seeing what she saw.
[For once, it is not the weight of the Ring of the Lucii that is the most noticeable of the rings he wears, but that of the wedding band on his other hand.]
no subject
What indeed?
But that is the wrong question, isn't it? The wrong question given credence by teachings they have both followed most of their lives, lessons impressed upon them when they were too young to know the damage those lessons were doing to them; one a child whose father expected royal behavior in everything from one too young to know what that was, and the other a child willing to do anything if it proved to the world he deserved a place in it.
The Crown and their tools? They have no need for love. There is no place for such distraction.
But what of Cor and Regis? What of the man whose heart overflows with loyalty and the need to protect? What of the man whose father warned him his very capacity to love would be the death of him if he didn't stomp it out?
It is true the moment that Cor finally loses the battle with his emotions, Regis' heart stops. It is true the moment his friend's lips crash against his that he is frozen and unable to react, but this is Cor and there is only one other person besides his wife that he trusts as completely as he does this young man, now grown, who was so willing to step into his space and tell him he was wrong.
There is pain in this, but the pain comes in the knowledge of just how long Cor had held all of this inside, of how much it has taken for him to get here and of how quickly he draws away because if he lingers longer, the dream will become a nightmare.
The instant Cor begins to pull away, Regis curses himself for not wrapping his arms around his friend and holding him close, holding close that moment of freedom bought at such a high cost. giving him a better memory to look back on when there is nothing else to keep him going.
Because, for as much as Regis wants to deny it, Cor is right.
Regis takes a deep breath and then pulls himself across the bed so he can settle with his side against Cor, his head coming to rest between his shoulders.]
I won't lie to you and say differently, though I suspect the actual reasons we cannot are much different than you believe them to be.
[He reaches around Cor then, seeking his hands to hold, giving him the embrace he should have before.]
I do not deserve this. It interferes with my duty. What right do I...
[The last statement remains unfinished because Regis can't bring himself to finish it. The fact his friend still holds these low opinions of himself after so long makes him angry, mostly at himself for not doing better by him.]
None of that is true. There is only one reason we can't and it is because Aulea is not here. Were she here so we could discuss it, things would be different, but I cannot and will not betray her trust nor will I presume to know her opinion on such a matter even if she did call me a fool for not seeing what she saw.
[For once, it is not the weight of the Ring of the Lucii that is the most noticeable of the rings he wears, but that of the wedding band on his other hand.]
Forgive me.