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[kingkingcxiii]

Gone Fishing

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[flawed_immortality]

[As Regis begins to move Cor has a moment of an even sharper panic, fully expecting the other man to withdraw and his fingers clench tight around Regis' hand. For a moment, anyway. Then his hand goes limp, releasing his King entirely, allowing him to move away without any resistance. That's surely what he wants.

He's so convinced of that fact that it takes him too long to fully register that Regis has not left, that he's here in front of him, kneeling and touching him, voice soothing but commanding all at once. It's so much more than he'd have thought his King would give him, more than he deserves, more than he can endure.

Regis commands that he breathe and he does, the dam breaking and letting his emotions flood out in a way he has not allowed since he was a much younger man, a boy really. The first sob bursts from him like a punch in the gut and then he's fumbling his way forward, collapsing off the bed into a heap, half in Regis' lap. He wraps his arms around the other man, clutches to his robe and sobs into his shoulder, body-wracking sobs that tear out of his chest and ravage his throat.]

I don't... know what to do without you.

[The words are thick with tears and emotion, ragged and desperate. Here there's no army to run, no Prince to guide, no People to save and without those driving goals there's nothing he can do to fight back the agony of loss and betrayal. And to have Regis judge him so harshly for doing his best to protect him, not from any outside threat but from himself is more than he can bear.]

I'm sorry. I'll make it stop just-

[Another wracking sob, hard enough to make him choke for a moment, unable to bring in enough air.]

Let me stay.

[kingkingcxiii]

[Those soul-wracking sobs shred what is left of Regis' heart. As much as this needed to happen, it is a terrible thing to witness. There is none of the man left that he knows as Cor right now, only a lost, terrified child, desperate to grasp onto whatever small flicker of hope might present itself to him no matter how much it hurts him to do so.

Regis holds Cor as tightly as he dares, one hand eventually moving upward to cradle the back of his head, fingers gently massaging his scalp. How does he begin to assuage these fears when all his limited knowledge has done so far is make things worse? Regis generally doesn't let himself look back once his makes his decisions, dealing with the consequences as they come but not doubting his original choice. He can't. Too many depend on his leadership for him to allow himself to look unsure even if that is exactly what he is.

Much like his country, right now Cor needs a pillar, not a confused man. However, Regis refuses to go to the extremes his father did. Never again will that icy steel immobility wound Cor's battered soul.

Regis bows his head, mouth near Cor's ear, words commanding, but also gentle in a way his father's never would have been.]

You will do no such thing, my love. You have already killed far too much of your heart and soul for the crown. You will love and you will cherish with all of your heart, do you understand me? Share your love with whoever you deem fit as often as you wish. How can I expect you to stop what I, myself, cannot?

[He raises his head again, pressing a gentle kiss to Cor's temple. Mors may have tried to drill into him over and over that his bleeding heart would be his undoing, but the lesson is one Regis never did and never will learn. The flame of love and compassion burns far too deeply within him.]

You will always have a place at my side, so do not fear my loss. I will always be with you, watching over you even when you cannot see me. So long as you walk at my side or my child's, I will be there.

[As one of the Lucii, his presence will be much different, but he will still be there.]

[flawed_immortality]

[He's too far gone to be able to formulate any kind of logical response. Duty commands he argue with those reassuring words but how can he deny his King what he asks for. Especially when he continues and Cor knows there's no way he can even begin to explain that being at Noctis' side actually involves a great deal of distance between them. Noctis has a prophecy to fulfill and Cor has Regis' final command to see to, maintaining the People so that there will still be a country for Noctis when he returns.

It's enough to bring a fresh wave of sobs. Every time he thinks he might be able to catch his breath, to pull himself together, control slips through his fingers.

Eventually the tears run dry, though. Not because the pain is lessened but because his body has nothing left to spare, emotional exhaustion eventually being matched by physical as well. Still he clings to his King, breathing in soft little hiccups, his eyes burning, his limbs heavy as lead.]

I love you...

[The words that have been held carefully behind his teeth for decades now, finally free. Weak and hesitant as they are they are no less true.]

[kingkingcxiii]

[As torn apart as Cor is right now, Regis isn't surprised with the lack of answer nor does he push for one. He just tightens his hold on his friend, eventually starting to rock him. At some point, he starts humming softly, a tune which Cor might recognize as a lullaby, one he no doubt walked in on Regis humming to a certain baby on nights when neither could sleep. Always just humming, never singing since Regis insisted him singing would only upset young Noctis more.

Or he will insist, depending on whose point in time one is viewing things from.

Eventually, Cor starts to calm. Regis is certain it is merely exhaustion. After all, these are not the kind of emotions that can be worked through in one conversation. It will take several, especially considering how long these particular emotions have been hidden before now.]

I know, and I you no matter what difficulties fate throws in our way.

[He raises his head, placing a gentle kiss against Cor's damp cheek, fingers soothingly rubbing at the back of his head.]

Trust your love with me and rest now. You have earned it.

[Hopefully, they can speak more on this later. There is a risk Cor will just pack it all away again, but it is a risk Regis is going to take. Cor has given enough for one night.]

I will stand guard over your dreams and keep your nightmares at bay. This I swear.

[flawed_immortality]

[If he weren't so exhausted he'd argue. Insist that he shouldn't stay here. That this is crossing lines and he doesn't deserve this level of affection from his King. That he's been taking advantage of Regis' ignorance of his feelings to take more from him than he'd realized he was giving.

If he weren't so exhausted he'd pull himself together, drag all his foolish emotions back behind walls and insist that he would not impose upon his friend. Shutter it all away once more, clean his face, and become the Marshal once again.

But he is exhausted, mentally and emotionally spent in a way he has not been in more years than he can count. As much as he fears his feelings will be a burden on his King he also cannot help but feel a little lighter now those words have finally been spoken, his heart unburdened of secrets and shackles.

Regis kisses his cheek and he leans into it helpless to resist the affection, the slide of fingers over the short strands of his hair soothing in a way he'd never felt, the warmth of his King's arms around him quieting the fleeting thought of protest. He's so exhausted, in fact, that it's only with a considerable effort from his King that he even ends up falling into bed, half asleep in his arms before Regis even gets him settled. Fully dressed and too tired to care about getting under the damn blanket.

As long as he has his love to keep him warm that's all he needs.]