It was difficult just after her loss. I shut down, but there was no real time to process. Not with a country at war and a son to raise. She was indeed my partner and having that space empty so suddenly... Well, you know the feeling. It was the very same you felt when you awoke to find Emet-Selch gone.
[Perhaps his own feelings were more intense and perhaps not. After all, he does not completely understand their bond and likely never will. The best he can do is compare it to the greatest loss he has known.]
It is a shame she is not here to meet you and so many others. She would have loved to know you and would have been so excited at the chance to solve the mystery that is this world.
[There is a slight pause before he continues. Even with her encouragement, he feels hesitant to share his feelings for fear of overstepping.]
Noctis has a similar duty as Chosen King, but that does not mean I must like the suffering this will cause him. It is the same with you and Ardbert. Your sacrifice may be necessary, but it still is painful to me as someone who calls you friend. I feel similar about the suffering that Ardyn has been put through.
Touch is a quandary for me. [With others, he might wonder if they were exaggerating the relationship between touch and pain, but he had seen the fear and hesitance in her even when she was quite young. She is not exaggerating at all and it makes him wish he could give her a hug so she has more examples to draw from that show touch can be as healing as it can be painful.]
As a man, I crave it. I communicate with it. I offer support, calming, and trust through it, but as king, I must distance myself from it. It becomes a danger, a sign of weakness and indecision, and yet, I cannot claim to understand how it must feel for it to be nothing but pain. I feel pain in its loss, not in having it.
I realize it is easy to blame yourself for things like this. Desipte Cor's best efforts, it is still my natural reaction to blame myself for my wife's death. When these things happen, blaming ourselves is often the only action we have to take and we are people of action. Doing nothing does not sit well with us and so we blame. Our minds become our worst enemy. That does not mean it is correct. It is merely the only thing we have left to do.
Saying these words are easy, of course; acting is much harder, but I hope maybe someday the words will help lift the blame you place upon yourself some. [The next words are typed quickly as Regis as very strong feelings about them. Formatting them? That takes just a little longer. What is technology again? Something he really needs to use more]
OH, YE OF LITTLE FAITH. Do you doubt Ardbert's taste so that you insult his choice of bride? You trust him at your back and at your side. Do not let your fears, as founded as they may be, become stronger than that.
no subject
[Perhaps his own feelings were more intense and perhaps not. After all, he does not completely understand their bond and likely never will. The best he can do is compare it to the greatest loss he has known.]
It is a shame she is not here to meet you and so many others. She would have loved to know you and would have been so excited at the chance to solve the mystery that is this world.
[There is a slight pause before he continues. Even with her encouragement, he feels hesitant to share his feelings for fear of overstepping.]
Noctis has a similar duty as Chosen King, but that does not mean I must like the suffering this will cause him. It is the same with you and Ardbert. Your sacrifice may be necessary, but it still is painful to me as someone who calls you friend. I feel similar about the suffering that Ardyn has been put through.
Touch is a quandary for me.
[With others, he might wonder if they were exaggerating the relationship between touch and pain, but he had seen the fear and hesitance in her even when she was quite young. She is not exaggerating at all and it makes him wish he could give her a hug so she has more examples to draw from that show touch can be as healing as it can be painful.]
As a man, I crave it. I communicate with it. I offer support, calming, and trust through it, but as king, I must distance myself from it. It becomes a danger, a sign of weakness and indecision, and yet, I cannot claim to understand how it must feel for it to be nothing but pain. I feel pain in its loss, not in having it.
I realize it is easy to blame yourself for things like this. Desipte Cor's best efforts, it is still my natural reaction to blame myself for my wife's death. When these things happen, blaming ourselves is often the only action we have to take and we are people of action. Doing nothing does not sit well with us and so we blame. Our minds become our worst enemy. That does not mean it is correct. It is merely the only thing we have left to do.
Saying these words are easy, of course; acting is much harder, but I hope maybe someday the words will help lift the blame you place upon yourself some.
[The next words are typed quickly as Regis as very strong feelings about them. Formatting them? That takes just a little longer. What is technology again?
Something he really needs to use more]OH, YE OF LITTLE FAITH. Do you doubt Ardbert's taste so that you insult his choice of bride? You trust him at your back and at your side. Do not let your fears, as founded as they may be, become stronger than that.